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Kid's Write the Darnedest Things
By John Anderson

The following are actual examples from Children's Essays I have read. The writing prompt was: tell a story about a lost puppy. The children involved were from 3rd to 6th Grade. Enjoy.

Recess. All the calm the kids kept during school was let out with squeals, screams and running wildly about.

We went out to the playground. I watched in disgust as Erica took a big bite out of her peanut butter, marshmallow and black olive sandwich.

Suddenly I hear a little wine and a big whale coming from behind the slide.

We saw a dog that looked Hispanic. He was so dehydrated that he gained five pounds when I spit on him. It was a black and brown pit bull with fluffy white ears.

The dog was so skinny he couldn't put anything in his rib cage.

His head was the size of a cauldron. The first word that came to mind was Hydrocephalous.

Fear now filled my body as I saw it. It was more horrible than Brussels Sprouts.

The next moment it was jumping on us and licking on our feces. He was so excited he jumped up and down and leaked on us.

Rite away I knew it was a boy because of what it did to Grace.

We also could tell it was boy because the boy has bigger eyes than the girl.

I thought he was going to lick my friend to death but the teacher pulled it off in time.

We were astounded with amazement.

I smuggled the dog into the school. After we fed him, the puppy used the bathroom in my book bag.

The teacher looked at the dog's foot. It looked as if it were hurt so she banged it up.

We took the dog to the vet and we found out the dog had an upper suppository infection.

Then we took a picture of him and blew him up and hung him on some poles.

We hung his pitcher, my member and my address.

We hung the flyer on the telephone pole but it flew away.

We didn't name the dog because we didn't think it would come when it was called, anyway.

When I was in school the dog got lonely and barfed.

After it had grown up we let it go free. And the first out the yard it got a date.

One day it got into a fight with another dog. After it was over, the other dog's owner took him to the veterinarian to get a prosthetic ear.

John Anderson has written an International Thriller entitled The Cellini Masterpiece under the penname of Raymond John. If you would like to contact him, he can be found at http://www.cmasterpiece.com

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