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Only
In America
Only
in America... can a pizza get to your house
faster than an ambulance.
Only
in America... are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
Only
in America... do drugstores make the sick walk
all the way to the back of the store to get
their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only
in America... do people order double cheese
burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
Only
in America... do banks leave both doors to the
vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only
in America... do we leave cars worth thousands
of dollars in the driveway and put our useless
junk in the garage.
Only
in America... do we use answering machines to
screen calls and then have call waiting so we
won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.
Only
in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages
of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only
in America... do we use the word 'politics'
to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin
meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.
Only
in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines
with Braille lettering.
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