A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever
done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "On a trip to
the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of macho bikers
who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone,
but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily
tattooed biker.

I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose
ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Leave her alone now or
you'll answer
to me.'"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago."