-If you mow your lawn and find 5 cars.

-If you think a 401k is your mother's bra size.

-If a police officer asks for ID and you show him your belt buckle.

-If you insist on walking of the last two inches of your jeans instead of hemming them.

-If you can spit through your tooth.

-If you refer to your mother-in-law and wife as duel airbags.

-If your mother doesn't even remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the police officer to kiss her ass.