Art Garfunkel:
"He makes Paul Simon look like LL Cool J."
-Ian Gittins

Ernest Hemmingway:
"A literary style of wearing false hair on the chest."
-Max Eastman

Katharine Hepburn:
"A cross between Donald Duck and a Stradivarius."
-Anon.

Herman's Hermits:
'Henry the Eighth' -- "It would be cheaper, and no more unpleasant, to record yourself in the shower while holding your nose."
-Dave Marsh

Charlton Heston:
'Ben Hur' -- "Charlton Heston throws all his punches in the first ten minutes (three grimaces and two intonations) so that he has nothing left long before he stumbles to the end, four hours later, and has to react to the crucifiction. (He does make it clear, I must admit, that he disaproves of it.)"
-Dwight MacDonald

Mick Jagger:
"He moves like a parody between a majorette girl and Fred Astaire."
-Truman Capote

Janis Joplin:
"I couldn't stand Janis Joplin's voice. . .She was just a screaming little loudmouthed chick."
-Arthur Lee

Madonna:
"She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else."
-Morrissey

Dean Martin:
"Martin's acting is so inept that even his impersonation of a lush seems unconvincing."
-Harry Medved

Groucho Marx:
"He's a male chauvinistic piglet."
-Betty Friedan

Marilyn Monroe:
"It's like kissing Hitler."
-Tony Curtis

Paul Newman:
'The Silver Chalice' -- "He delivered his lines with the emotional fervor of a conductor announcing local stops."
-'The New Yorker'

Ronald Reagan:
"I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was -- an Arctic region covered with ice."
-Steve Martin

"Ronald Reagan couldn't be here tonight, he's posing for the cover of 'Guns and Ammo.'
-Johnny Carson

Robert Redford:
"He has turned almost alarmingly blond -- he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth."
-Pauline Kael

Mickey Rooney:
"His favorite exercise is climbing tall people."
-Phyllis Diller

Sting:
"Somebody should clip Sting around the head and tell him to stop using that ridiculous Jamaican accent."
-Elvis Costello

Elizabeth Taylor:
"She has an insipid double chin, her legs are too short, and she has a slight potbelly."
-Richard Burton

Mae West:
"A plumber's idea of cleopatra."
-W. C. Fields

Robin Williams:
"A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck."
-Tom Shales

Andy Warhol:
"The only genius with an IQ of 60."
-Gore Vidal