Celebrity Insults

Fred Astaire:
"Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little."
-Anonymous screen test
Jack Benny:
"When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage -- he shot both his parents and moved in."
-Bob Hope

Jon Bon Jovi:
"Bon Jovi sounds like bad fourth-generation metal, a smudgy Xerox of Quiet Riot."
-Jimmy Guterman

Boy George:
"Boy George is all England needs -- another queen who can't dress."
-Joan Rivers

Marlon Brando:
"Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper."
-Rex Reed

Charlie Chaplin:
"If pople don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting."
-Herman J. Mankiewicz

"When Chaplin found a voice to say what was on his mind, he was like a child of eight writing lyrics for Beethoven's Ninth."
-Billy Wilder

The Clash:
"The sheets of sound they let loose have the cumulative effect of mugging."
-'The London Times' (1979)





John Cleese:
"He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats."
-Roger Gellert

James Dean:
"Another dirty shirttail actor from New York."
-Hedda Hopper

John Denver:
"I'm a John Denver freak, and I don't give a sh*t that he looks like a f***ing turkey."
-Grace Slick

Bob Dylan:
"Actually, I never liked Dylan's kind of music before; I always thought he sounded just like Yogi Bear."
-Mike Ronson

Clint Eastwood:
Commenting on Eastwood's bid for mayor of Carmel -- "What makes him think a middle aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?"
-Ronald Reagan

F. Scott Fitzgerald:
"Fitzgerald never got rid of anything; the ghosts of his adolescense, the failures of his youth, the doubts of his maturity plagued him to the end. He was supremely a part of the world he described, so much a part that he made himself its king and then, when he saw it begin to crumble, he crumbled with it and led it to death."
-John Aldridge

Zsa Zsa Gabor:
"She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age."
-Oscar Levant