"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man." --Tom Clancy

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Steve Martin

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good." --Woody Allen

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." --Unknown

"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet." --Bill Kelly

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." --Henry Miller

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." --Lynn Lavner

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." --P. J. O'Rourke

"As the French say, there are three sexes--men, women and clergymen." --Rev. Sydney Smith

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." --Woody Allen

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." --George Burns

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." --Matt Barry

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither." --Drew Carey

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease." --Unknown

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast." --Woody Allen

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." --George Burns

"If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all." --Rodney Dangerfield