How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses

What do your call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Cuatro cinco

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes Whack! "Dang!"
A bad skydiver goes, "Dang!" Whack!

How are a Texas tornado and a Mississippi divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.