"She said at her church, Governor Palin, said she asked everyone to pray for a natural gas pipeline, which she said was God's will. And today, God said, 'Hey lady, I don't deal with oil companies. That's more Satan's area.'" -Jay Leno

"In Boca Raton, Florida, yesterday, a woman who looked like Sarah Palin caused a near riot when she walked into a diner for breakfast. And after a minute or two, people finally realized it wasn't her when she started answering questions." --Jay Leno

"Are you excited about Sarah Palin? Well, yesterday she referred to Afghanistan as our neighboring country. Apparently, she can see bin Laden's cave from her house." --David Letterman

"During the debate the other night, the moderator asked Sarah Palin to describe her Achilles heel, but instead of talking about her biggest weakness, she talked about her greatest strength, which apparently is not answering questions." --Jay Leno

"Of course, the most controversial thing Sarah Palin said last night was she felt the vice president should have more power. More power? Dick Cheney is shooting people in the face and doesn't even get arrested. You cannot get any more powerful than that." --Jay Leno

"During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!" --David Letterman

"She kept reaching out to Joe Sixpack. That's because her answers make more sense after six beers." --David Letterman