What did the doctor say to the blonde who claimed "It hurts everywhere I touch"?
"Your finger's broken"

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
Because it said "from 2-4 years" on the box.

How did the blonde burn her ear?
She was ironing and the phone rang.

How do you get a 1 armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.

Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear?
She was afraid of getting hearing AIDS.

Why did the blonde sell her car?
She needed gas money.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept trowing away the W's.

Why did the blonde bring sandpaper on her trip to the desert?
She thought it was a map.

Why did the blonde ask to have her pizza cut into 6 slices instead of 12?
She didn't know if she could eat 12 slices.

How did the blonde explain her helicopter crash?
"It was getting cold, so I turned off the ceiling fan"

How do blondes brain cells die?
Alone.